I ate a three course meal designed by AI and survived to tell the tale

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Welcome to Adventures with AI, a column exploring what happens when artificial intelligence takes control of everyday tasks.

Eating at a restaurant is one of my great pleasures; the kitchen is not.

Unfortunately, since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, I have done a lot of these and hardly any of the first.

Preparing meals has become particularly tedious during the last London lockout. Then as an unhappy couple in a sexless marriage, I tried to spice things up in my domestic life. Only instead of strapping on a gimp mask and a ball gag I have experimented with with AI.

[Read: How do you build a pet-friendly gadget? We asked experts and animal owners]

I first looked for the culinary inspiration of GPT-3, a text generator intended either for Conquer the world or burn in a blaze of bigotry and pseudophilosophy.

The model was trained on a mind-boggling amount of data, including the entire English Wikipedia, two extensive books of books, and a filtered version of Common Crawl. With so many recipes now online, GPT-3 had to learn its way into the kitchen. Law?

I put my stomach on the line to find out.

The entrance

Access to GPT-3 remains prohibitive for most, but nutritional benefits Refluxgate Kindly provided me with a selection of his recipes.

For my starter, I whipped up a plate of honey and soy glazed vegetables.

The model suggested all the ingredients you would expect from such a dish – except the vegetables.

Thanks to the cooking gods, he recommended serving this monstrosity with rice: